real estate

As I approach the conclusion of my third year in NYC, the high point of my upcoming summer has to be having to search for a new apartment. Again. For the 8th time since I’ve moved here. The 8th apartment I’ll live in. Not crash at, frequent, or visit, but live in.

With that in mind, it’s only appropriate to briefly parse apart each one.

1. Bushwick (1 Month): Lost, confused, naive – all words I’d use to describe my first month in NYC. Paid in cash, shared a railroad apartment, convinced my roommate was a vampire.

2. Prospect Lefferts Gardens (4 Months): Only a few stabbings in the neighborhood while we lived there. Got evicted. Not our fault, promise.



3. Times Square (1 Month): Empty penthouse. I mean empty. As in no furniture, internet, or kitchen empty. The blizzard of February 2014. Never forget.

4. Kensington (3 Months): Lived in a sailboat with two cats. Became intimate with the F train.


Hated this cat. Hated it.

5. Chelsea (3 Months): More wigs, fishnets, and lipstick than I’ve ever seen in my life.

6. Lower East Side (1 Year): “Let’s drink in the basement.”


Having a basement isn’t creepy if you have a roof as well.

7. Lower East Side (1 Year): “Let’s drink in the other basement.”

8. ???

You’d think it would get easier over time.

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